Hi! I’m Cain Parish. I write about influence & social dynamics.
I help people develop relationships that are healthier & safer.
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What is this site?
Put simply, this is a collection of my various projects and efforts over the years to learn, understand, document and contribute to subjects and parts of society that I find interesting or meaningful.
At the bottom of this page is a more complete list of the articles on this site, but I’ve hand-picked a few to display here that I feel most strongly express my sentiments on broad topics like dating culture or self-expression.
The writings on this domain are loosely divided into individual ‘projects’, segregated by the topic or time period I found myself interested in them.
Currently there are two of these:
- The Relationship Project (~40 articles)
- The Influence Project (A handful of works in development.)
Regardless of the project, taxonomy or meta-lens through which I develop and categorise my work, the essays on this site discuss things like social dynamics, semantics/pragmatics, influence, relationships, communication, philosophy, personal development and mental frameworks.
With that all in mind, welcome!
A Quick Side Note – What Are Social Dynamics & Why Should You Care?
I speak about a lot of diverse subjects in the context of my work. I tend to lump a great number of them into the classification: ‘social dynamics’.
Social dynamics are the building blocks of our interpersonal relationships – they explain how and why humans act the way they do towards each other.
By understanding what makes our relationships tick, we can work out how to improve the parts of our lives that have to do with other people.
You know, things like:
- Our work lives & interactions with colleagues, bosses and customers
- Our dating lives, our ability to meet and talk to new flames, romances and flings
- Our friendships, making and solidifying platonic connections
- Our families, improving the soft skills that help us navigate complex familial relationships
Make no mistake – things like social skills & charisma aren’t something you’re just born with or without.
They’re skills – ones YOU can learn.
One of my friends has a pretty bad habit of not thinking before he talks. I sent him your article. Hopefully that fixes him!
– Dani , Australia
A Modern, Healthy Dating & Relationship Resource
I am obsessed with finding out how things tick and explaining the fundamentals of social dynamics.
As a result, I created this website.
I am not a coach. I am not a guru. I am not a marketer out for blood.
I am an educator and a synthesizer – I take these subjects seriously & I care about teaching them to you.
The content on this website exists because I believe in the value of social dynamics and learning to understand them.
I write and educate so that a healthy, centralised, modern resource exists to understand communication & relationships.
If you would like to know more about my background, my authority on the subjects of relationships & social dynamics, and some of the work I’ve done, please click below.
About Cain ParishPersonally, I learn best when I understand the theory behind things.
It’s much easier to learn to cook when you understand the foundational variables like heat, salt, fat and moisture.
Relationships & social dynamics are the same. You learn best by understanding the fundamentals – how all the building blocks fit together.
So yes, I’m saying people are like Lego sets. The really large, expensive ones with a million pieces.
So this site isn’t for pick-up artists. This site isn’t for people expecting quick fixes or platitudes.
This platform is for people that understand that million-piece Lego kits are complicated – and we need to learn how to deal with them properly.
Are you going to tell me you’ve never felt like this before?
The Theory Behind Relationships & Communication
Whilst I could simply write a bunch of instructions for you – how to get girls, how to get a guy to like you, how to get into relationship anarchy, etc, I believe the WHY is just as important as the HOW.
Like I said earlier, I’m passionate – about social dynamics AND about education.
And I’ve always believed that teaching starts with understanding WHY things work and WHY we should even care.
So no matter where you are in your relationship & social dynamics journey, I think this essay is a good place to start.
It’s a little personal, a little philosophical, and (hopefully) a little educational.
If you’re serious about improving your relationships or learning more about communication and social dynamics, here are the foundations for you.
The Relationship Project Articles
Part of social dynamics is understanding love, dating, sex and relationships. Part of this site is dedicated to the Relationship Project, the pieces I developed to contribute to the education of our dating culture.
Start
Here!
This is the intro stuff, the fundamentals. If you don’t know what you don’t know, you should be looking here.
Dating &
Finding Love
These guides cover the dating process, meeting people, and short term romance.
Relationships &
Communication
This is everything you need to learn how to talk to people, as well as the skills you need to go the dating distance.
Self
Improvement
To attract someone, you gotta be attractive. These articles are how you do that.
Books by Cain Parish: I’m Sorry I Egged Your House
“The one thing they don’t tell you about threesomes is that it’s hard to find places for all the legs to go. A bed that would comfortably support two people suddenly has to find room for an intruder, someone with taboo and sultry intentions.”
This is the first really long-form project I’ve worked on. A manuscript is different than just creating courses or chunky articles. Not just because of the length, but because you’re supposed to have a point. An article can just explain something or tell a story.
Books need to communicate something between the pages. After all, that kind of transformative writing is why I started writing in the first place. More than media, the written word is powerful at conveying ideas and inspiring thought.
Hence, it’s pretty f*cking difficult to do…
Trying to keep my thoughts coherent across eighty thousand words and managing to not lose sight of what I wanted to say was the biggest challenge I’ve faced to date.
This is my best effort.
If anything I’ve ever said, written or inferred between the lines has resonated with you or made you feel something, I’m Sorry I Egged Your House is for you. It’s my personal story, a selfish retelling of my life that explains how I got here and why it would probably be best for the next person to do things a little differently.
Chock-full of irreverent stories, laughter, love, sex and heartbreak, I’m Sorry I Egged Your House is a complete description of how I learned social skills on the internet. It’s fun. You’ll love it. Please buy it.
F.A.Q.s
How much of your written content is free?
The short answer – 99%.
This website and this project started from a desire to write and publish stuff on the internet, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. Aside from my books, everything I publish goes straight onto the front page of the internet.
Am I too old/too young to benefit from your resources?
The short answer – Almost certainly not. Human interaction is evergreen. It’s never too late or too early to start responsibly developing social skills.
Summed it up pretty well. See above. As long as you’re a legal adult taking responsibility for your own life, this site and everything on it is for you.
I know you talk about what to do if you’re hopeless, but I’m a special case. I’m REALLY hopeless. I don’t think your stuff works for me.
The short answer – If you have a disadvantage, a life-altering condition, or simply just a late start, it’s going to be harder. But so will everything. That’s no reason not to try.
As much as I try and be relatively relaxed about my upbringing, I wasn’t exactly set up for social success. The only reason I’m here is because I spent a remarkably long time intentionally studying what other people seem to pick up from birth. After some long years of uncertainty, I finally hit a social baseline.
I’m not going to pretend I was born with a massive deformity or some other handicap. I recognise it’s really, really f*cking hard for people in those positions. But the only options we have in life are to try or not try. Everything else is just about the execution.
I know my methods work because I and many others have lived through them. I encourage you to give it a shot. You never know, it might work.
I signed up to your mailing list/bought your book. What do you do with my data, like email addresses and payment information?
The short answer – I use trusted third party vendors to handle your sensitive data where possible.
Things like your personal details are entered and stored into secure databases and used with value in mind and discretion at the forefront. I get reamed by Google if someone reports me for spam, so it’s in everyone’s best interest if I only send you stuff that makes sense for both of us.
As for your payment info and the real sensitive stuff, I use platforms such as PayPal and Stripe to handle all my transactions. I don’t see the information, nor would I want to.